Can I Get A Side Of Learning With My School Choice?

I'm not trying to be facetious... Well, maybe I am. Here's my beef today. What is it with expecting that teachers teach at schools?

I'm a teacher (even though I am not in a classroom) and the goal of a teacher, or maybe let's be a little more sensible, the responsibility of a teacher is to provide education for students. Easy enough, you provide education for a student however, how can you measure how well they perform in this task?

Let's say that you enroll your child in an educational environment where the primary goal is their independence and a certain freedom within limits. I like the way that all of this sounds until I through in some other words like, objectives, goals, expectations. It's really easy to put children in an environment where they play all day, if your dream is to have a class full of children who will grow up to be "players". If your goal is to have your children learn how to use those "independent skills" so that they can read and write... what should you do?

You should either place them in a different school that emphasizes this skill set or provide them with an environment that does so. When I was five years old, my parents bought a bike for me. It stood in the garage until I worked up the courage to teach myself how to ride the bike. (Yes, I did. I'm quite proud of this feat and I think that my parents always knew how independent and resilient child #3 was in comparison to #1,2,4-6).. For some reason, riding a bike made sense to me. Mom and dad provided me, "the child" with the proper environment and support to learn how to ride a bike and hopefully, I will learn that given skill. They supported me in my quench for knowledge (since independent learning was rampant in my family) so when I wanted to learn, I would retreat to the libraries with my friends. My older brother on the other hand, not so much. His interests dealt more with social activities rather than intellectual ones and so I had to assist him with college level courses when I was still in middle school. (There was even a time that I wanted to go in and take his tests in math, science and english until I realized that he would be kicked out of university for that. He liked the idea of getting grades for not doing any work. I liked the idea of learning things  beyond what was expected. Nothing has changed in the last .....ty years..)

So when a school does not provide you with the tools that your child needs to succeed, you should act swiftly and with patience. Because in the grand scheme of things, this problem (unlike that of my older brother) will not solve itself.

Is Your Child Ready For Overnight Camp?

For most kids, it’s a time during the summer that they look forward to the most: the experience of going to their first overnight camp! For weeks at a time, they will have butterflies thinking of all the fun activities they will be engaged in while away from their parents. Mornings spent with peers talking about the events from the night before will show in their eyes as they exchange stories with more excitement than an action packed blockbuster movie. However, there are some kids that may not have the same experience.

Going to your first overnight camp can be overwhelming when you are not quite ready. Some children may experience unnecessary anxiety and stress because they are either unfamiliar with the set up of staying somewhere overnight that is not “home” or are unprepared socially for being in a camp setting. 

I had the experience of watching one of my favorite 2nd graders attend a camp for a total of 30 hours before the Camp Director and the child decided that this experience was not one that was mutually beneficial. It was devastating to hear the anguish of the father as he had to drive his son back and endure the six hour trip listening to the reasons why his experience was a horrible one.

If you believe that your child may not be 100% ready to attend camp, here are some tips to help them get ready for that first “going away” experience:

• Help coordinate a Large Group Play Date

Yes, your child has a wonderful best friend who you treat as that other member of your family. Let the summer be a time where your child can learn to socialize and play with a larger circle of friends. The exposure and experience will help them prepare to be around different personalities and be more comfortable as a result.

Schedule field trips to local places and stay there for the whole day

The Zoo, the Georgia Aquarium, the Coca Cola Museum, there are many “whole day” excursions from which your child can choose from. Going on a field trip is more than just learning about what the particular venue has to offer. It is an opportunity to plan the events for the day and to also pacify oneself when you have a sudden onset of boredom. Kids learn at any given moment when they have an experience that is memorable and meaningful and you can learn from them too!

• Give your child unstructured free time

This is a tough one for some parents, but be creative when giving your children free time. For example, you can give them a few hours to themselves but place limitations on it. Telling your child “this afternoon is all yours - you can do whatever you want to do, but it has to be technology free” may lead your child to pick up an outdoor activity rather than staying indoors. Another example can be stated with a simple, “This morning we can do anything that requires us to use paint”. Give your child the ability to make executive decisions and plan out the process of time management. You will be surprised at what they’ll come up with.

• Create a series of “Community Overnight” Camps

If you live in a thriving subdivision or a great community of like-minded parents, gather up your children and help co-sponsor some overnight camps. The children will learn how to build better communication skills with those that they are familiar with and will have memories that will be cherished for years to come.

Want to be a little more daring? Parents who are hosting can have a special time where they are the “Featured Guest Speaker” and can share a scary/funny/inspirational story to all of the kids that are there. (Yes, my father sat in one night and told all of my friends stories of his childhood and how unbelievably mischievous he was. It ended up being a night of Community Comedy sponsored by “My dad”.)

• Have your child take classes over the summer

It’s important that children learn how to be comfortable in different situations. Allowing them to take classes over the summer will not only help them work on a different skill or talent, but it will help them actively engage in the learning process. They’ll learn that education is something that happens when you are not looking and will be grateful that you helped them along the way.

If you have any questions about getting your child get ready for Summer Camps, choosing a Summer Camp, or enrolling in a Summer Learning Camp featuring Handwriting Without Tears, Singapore Math, and Orton-Gillingham at Learning Ridge this summer, feel free to visit www.learningridge.com or contact me at christine@learningridge.com.

Have a Great Summer! 

An Alternative to Bullying Prevention? Assertiveness Training!

It was a warm April day and I was about to approach my client’s house for a home visit. As I was walking towards the driveway, I noticed two elementary aged girls approaching the house. Instantly I thought it was a play date that was accidentally scheduled but what it was surprised me more than anyone can imagine.

“Hi, we live in the neighborhood and ride the same bus as David, Are you David’s mom?”, the taller girl asked as if she was a seasoned Business Development Manager in another life. “Well, we wanted to let you know that for the past few weeks, David has been really bugging my friend and I both in the bus and out of the bus. I just wanted you to know that..” 

It was quite an interesting event to watch a ten-year old with more gravitas and tact than some adults I’ve encountered in the past. Tall girl then looked over at short girl and said, “Tell David’s mom what he’s been doing to you when we were on the bus.” This other girl was not as talkative and briefly said, “Everything that you said.”. 

David’s mom was in shock that her son was being put to trial without representing himself in his own home. She did however mention to me later on how much she admired these two girls for speaking up for themselves and not involving their parents in the sometimes trivial minutiae that is called, “bullying”.

If you are a parent or grandparent of a child, try to instill in them the value of communication and being assertive. Often times children will resort to tattle tailing or retaliation when minor things occur. When conflicts arise, teach them the art of “verbal self defense” by explaining to them that when someone does something that hurts you, be direct when you communicate the result of their actions. This will prevent a great deal of time and misunderstanding if we teach children how to communicate early!

For more information about parenting advice, executive functioning, or premium educational programs, please contact Christine at christine@learningridge.com or 404-964-8533.

In the heart of my organization...

It's been a rather adventurous few months for me. As I look back, I can say that it's been such a challenge meeting the needs (demands) of my wonderful clients and finding the right people to step in for me to help them when I am unable to.

I can say that without a doubt, I've met some extremely wonderful people throughout the last few years. Sometimes the professionals that I have hired have been my "Angels without wings" and other times.... well, let's not say anything mean. The reason why I'm writing is because as an employer, today is probably the day that I have dreaded more than most days during business operations.

A loyal tutor of mine had to give me her notice because of certain life events. I'm more than ecstatic about it as I always want the best for the people that I care about, especially the ones who have contributed  a great deal of happiness and joy that I have been fortunate enough to feel because of their contributions. However, I knew that this day would eventually come for everyone. Sometimes it's different with other people in an organization. But this time I thought, if I have more people like her that enter my organization and leave, I'm going to have to think of a different way to recoup the loss.

We all have people that work for us that we enjoy being around. Not all of them light up the room, cheer you up when you are sad, or give you the best that they can give you and never ask for anything more. Sometimes I wish there were more people that can be like that but my husband always says, "you would take it for granted if they all were like that." It's hard separating my business life from my professional life because I feel so alive when my group of people are able to help those that ask us for help. It was equally even more difficult because I try to not be emotional around people because to me, it's a sign of weakness.

As I prepared to meet with my loyal tutor one last time, I decided to pick up a card and a gift for her. I wrote some sentences in the card and almost sealed it up before looking at my husband and said, "this is really hard for me. I don't think that I've said what I wanted to say." His usual directness stepped in and he replied, "Well, what do you want to tell her?" I stopped for a second and said, "That I'll miss having her with us.."

"Then write that on the card. I know it's hard for you to say things that you want to say - that's why you have cards."

And so it ended with the last line of the card being, "You'll be missed."

It was my way of thanking her for being not only a part of my organization, but showing me that integrity, dedication and loyalty is what has kept my head up all of these years.

Thanks so much G!  

Why I Really Want To Go To Private School

When kids are really young, let's say 4 or 5 years old, they cannot tell the difference between going to one school over another. It's hard for them to differentiate between what a good school is versus a bad school because their experiences are so limited.

This is not the case for all students. I've recently had the opportunity to work with one of the nicest, well-rounded and influential families I have ever met in my entire life. Unlike many children that I've encountered, this family is comprised of a hard-working and protective father, conscientious and generous mother, and three children who possess the lack of materialistic attachment synonymous with a Buddhist monastery. Most families are well-off financially, with this family they are not only well-off, but secure in the fact that they do not need to show it or make you feel badly that you are not "one of the 1% of 1%".

I remember the day as if it were yesterday. Before I started working with the little girl, I asked her, "Why do you want to change schools? I've heard so many great things about your public school." What she was about to tell was not typical of what most children tell me. Usually their response is a simple, "I don't know" or "My mom and dad want me to go to the school because I'll be able to go to an Ivy League school". What she told me resonated in my heart and in my mind forever.

"At my school, I feel invisible and the girls are mean to me."

SHE'S NOT EVEN 10! I was about to explode when she told me that because I thought that kids didn't show these behaviors until they were in middle school! It broke my heart in so many pieces that I felt that somehow, somewhere, the system has let us down. I feel that as an adult, many of my peers in the school system have become so overburdened with their work load that they forget about the emotional well-being of their students.

Let's think about this for a minute: As an adult it is very difficult to focus on your job or your family if there is a major stressor in your life. The nice thing about being an adult is that you are able to remedy the situation by talking to someone in your life who plays a supporting role in order to help you. This is not the case for a kindergartener, 1st or 2nd grader who blames themselves for being an outcast.

I'm fully aware that not all children will learn to get along - adults do not even know how to get along. The least that parents and other adults can do is model tolerant behaviors around their children. When you see someone that may be different from you, talk to your child about how to initiate conversations with them and not pose judgment. If you are at the park and your child is comfortable playing with their core group of friends and there is a new person that is playing by themselves, encourage your child to reach out and ask the child to play with them.

I've met many children in my lifetime and I've noticed that as a group, we could really work on making the new generation more inclusive and tolerant of other people. It's not a privilege that we have, it's our responsibility to teach our children to be cordial to each other and respectful of other's feelings.

Happy Kids... are not always Pleasant Kids

It's been quite a while since I've picked up the virtual pen, AKA "keys on the keyboard". Sometimes I feel like my late grandfather publishing books on topics which he cared so much about in the world, hoping to make a difference by communicating what he has observed time in and time out. It's my turn to hold the torch - hoping to discuss what I see with children, their parents, behavioral expectations, and education.

I interact and see a huge number of kids. It's amazing to observe children in their natural state, not when they are at school but when they are at home with their parents and other loved ones. This is the time when you would think that you see the best of children. This is also the time when you see the most brutal part of who they are too: their true self.

When only myself and the child are around, two things transpire: expectations that the child perform at their best without being prodded by a parent and that they show me what they are capable of doing. I am very surprised by the conversations that I have had with many children on how they share their utmost feelings, wishes and desires. One child that I am particularly fond of heard my stomach growl and rather than make me feel like a nuisance, smiled at me and said, "It's okay Miss C, my stomach growls too. It's normal.". Children grow up trying to please their parents however, it is the kindness and grace that they show to people around them that make them show their true character.

Not all children exhibit this. I fondly recall working with a child whose mother and father show all the traits of a "nice family". Two parent household, above average income, connections that only one in the White House can manage to be proud of. What they missed in raising their child was how to act and treat people with respect. This irks me beyond words, but there is absolutely nothing that I can do about it. How can a couple with so much forget to teach their child that one character trait that prevents them from being at the top of the bully list in 2016?

It's because they don't care. The reason why is because they find justifiable reasons to tell their children that bullying is okay. When I asked the little girl, "When is your birthday?". She blurted out, "March 10th." I immediately asked her if she has planned her birthday party to include princesses and ponies. Her response was "Of course I've planned that." What shocked me was the next statement that she made, "But you are not INVITED! You are not a child and I can't invite you!". I was in total remorse that somehow, a child was capable of making such a repugnant comment that I feared for the other children around her that she would exclude and ostracize. Maybe she doesn't know it, maybe her parents don't know it, but somehow I felt that part of the innocence that I shared in her upbringing was taken away in that brief moment where she put her foot down and said, "I don't want you there." (Ironically, she bothered me for a treat afterwards.)

I'm not one to judge, but I am one to observe. There are many children in this world that are being labeled as bullies and for some strange reason, parents of those being bullied are starting to wonder why. Here's one hypothesis: those parents of bullies are not cognizant of what their child is doing. It is easier to tell your child that they are great in everything and that they can have everything than teaching them to share and care about the people and world around them. I know this because we grew up in a fairly large family and it takes more work for parents to be true parents that just a grown up friend for their kids.

I'm left saddened by the interaction that I had with this child, but at least I can be grateful to know that if I ever ask about a child's birthday ever again, I'll follow up by saying, "it's a kind deed to invite people that care about you on your birthday". 

Schools that say they can help with your struggles

Here's the scenario:

You realize that your child is having issues reading or completing math assignments at school. You hire someone either at the school or a tutor to help your child understand these concepts better. Things get worse after a few months and not only have you wasted an exorbitant amount of money or time, but now they run the risk of being not just a few months behind their peers but one year behind.

What most parents do at this point is ask the school to step in and find a specialist to help their student with whatever they are struggling with. I have seen this happen day in and day out and actually spoke to a specialist (actually, several specialists) at the school to ask them what their solution was in helping a child with certain issues. The responses that I have received were rather humorous, but alarming at the same time. One school said, "I don't know." Another school was a little more honest and stated, "We do the same work - just slower." Yet another school said, "We repeat the concept over and over and over until he gets it." Obviously this child doesn't get it if you just repeat the concepts over to him.

I've realized through the years that it is hard being a parent and even more difficult to find people that you can trust. I believe that it is important for parents to be proactive in finding solutions that work for their children and to trust a professional who has years of experience in handling the situation that is being presented. Every year, I see several clients that are new and I also see repeat clients that know that sometimes, it is a good idea to ask for help.

If you have a problem that you need to solve, don't hesitate to contact me at christine@learningridge.com. Our goal is to help guide your student onto the path to success.