Admissions Preparation Update... Working on Transitions to the Next School Year

Yes, it's almost (at least that's what I think now) over.. Many parents are through the first two hurdles of Admissions Preparation and they are waiting for what's next. Now, my more outstanding clients are actually working with me on transition planning so that their student can stay ahead of the pack for the 2014-2015 school year.

This has been quite an interesting year. Unlike last year where one client decided to "scream his way into an assessment" (yes, it actually happened. I wonder what their tour to the school looked like that year.) we've had the opportunity to work with a great group of people this year as well as a few returning clients.

I'm excited to say that 95% of this work is done. In line with knowing that the children will be attending a new school, many of our clients have continued to work on transition planning to make sure that their child will "hit the ground running" when they are at the new school. It's one way to continue leading our clients onto the path to success.

The Ritual of Coming Home (or Leaving)

For the first eighteen or so years of your child's life, they live in this romanticized version of how their parents need to act around them and how their entire world will be given to them in the blink of an eye. My own baby brother lived this "delectable dream" of being financially dependent on my mom up until now (he is one year from 30.) Every month it seems like, his spending would be financed by my industrious and shrewd mother who would take care of his every whim whether it be his daily $10 Starbucks splurges to trips to Europe that (to the chagrin of the rest of his siblings) were rather gratuitous. It's not a surprise that I feel that austerity measures should be placed on lavish spending by parents onto their kids.

What I do not believe needs to be reduced is the overall experiences and "parent moments" that one provides to their children. Every time I meet up with my European mother-in-law, she tells me of the sacrifices that she had made for each of her sons but also the times that they spent together. When I speak to parents, I don't know why it is important to give them everything that they need. I think that it is more important to teach them delayed gratification and the idea that sometimes it is more exciting working towards a goal than achieving it. If families would re-evaluate the true economics of giving in, they might change the beat of their drum.

I'm not advocating for parents to stop spending money on their children. Instead, it may be better to substitute a material good with something that is experiential. There are fond memories that I have of my father taking me on every errand known to man that a father must make. From the auspices of going to the bank in order to make a deposit to the family account - to walking from our family car to the hardware store when it was 120 degrees in the summer, I have a rich bank of memories of watching my father passively show me what responsibility and character are. Even the most mundane task of driving me to my monthly orthodontist appointments where his shy yet handsome presence would be noticed by all the dental assistants still remind me today that for the most part, people remember you for how you made them feel and not who you are.

I've watched and listened to several kids judge other kids and families for who they are. It's a learned behavior and, to be quite honest with you, is one that breaks my heart. Families who have children that scream every time they hear the door crack knowing that mom or dad have just come home are the ones who know what having a family really means.

Character Lessons Taught Everyday By One Parent

I remember this one time where I asked a parent this question, "What is your mission as a parent?" I thought that the moment that a mother and father became parents they came up with an end goal for their children.. More often than not, most parents seem to just live day to day as it pertains to raising their children.

One family that I have spent a number of years working with do the exact opposite. In their daily routines, they not only communicate what the expectations of their children are, but model it in their daily interactions with their own family. They have more than six children and have modeled them in the old-fashioned way of child-rearing, "Responsibility, respect, and integrity is shared by all of you." I like how they raise their kids because it was how I was raised.

On the day of the Parent-Teacher Conference, the mother of these wonderful children came in to talk to the teachers of her children. I recall that she stated that two of the teachers had complimented the actions of two of her children but it was the heroic action of one of the children that really stood out to not just me, but the entire school.

During the time of the school announcements, there was one student in the third grade class that volunteered to lead the Pledge of Allegiance. The student that volunteered has Aspergers Syndrome and because of his disability, has problems communicating socially with his peers. The teacher had asked the other students in the class if any of them would volunteer to help the student with Aspergers Syndrome and nobody wanted to volunteer, except for the son of my client. He quickly shot up his hand and said, "I'll go up there with him!"

Both students marched up to the office and waited for the part of the announcements to lead the Pledge of Allegiance. When it was time for the student with Aspergers Syndrome to lead the pledge, he froze. It wasn't as if he didn't know the pledge.. he didn't know at that moment in time what he needed to do. The staff at the school repeated the cue for him to say the pledge. Still... no answer. He glanced over to my client's son and my client's son nodded his head. He walked over to him, held his hand, popped into the viewing screen of the camera where the entire school was watching and said...

"Good morning school! My name is Mike and this is my friend John. Today we are going to lead the Pledge of Allegiance..... I pledge allegiance to the flag...."

When my client was telling me this story, it was a pivotal time in my life when many of the casual conversations I hear from parents are the trivialities of school. Yes, I agree that education is vital to the upbringing of one's children, but equally as important as integrity, leadership, and courage. What this child did for me, his family, and his school is that it is so easy to mock someone because you get to hide, it is so much more meaningful to stand by someone and show your strength of character by challenging what may not be popular.

I am so proud to know this child - and hope that these actions of our little heroes are never overlooked.  

When Professionals Do Not Tell The Truth...

My mother always said that your name is important in who you are. I've always been very adept at understanding complex organizational systems and have been able to break down the interpersonal relationships that may be troubling for people my age to understand.

Very recently I have learned about the actions of certain individuals who have access to information and resources that have indelibly affected the educational outcomes of young children. It has angered and frustrated me beyond belief because as many people have respected them, they have been placed in a position of trust but have used this position to change and skew the dynamics of the systems that they are part of.

One such story was told to me very sadly by a young boy whom I have known for several months. He has been dreaming of attending a school that his father attended many years ago. Following in his father's footsteps, he had hoped to be wearing the uniform once graced by his dad years prior. Each year, he anticipated the moment that his presence would grace the halls of the school. Given the fact that the odds were for him, it was a "shoe-in", his family thought, as he had the same accolades and abilities that many of the students currently attending the school had. It was supposed to happen until..

Admissions Directors for the most part, have a difficult job in that they have to balance the needs of the school with the reputation that is to be upheld in the community. As it turns out, this particular Admissions Director has not told the entire truth to the young child. It sounded too good to be true that any family would be promised "a spot" but to outwardly admit students that were in the same grade and school as a student that you did not want attending your school is something that is worth coming clean on.

Study Skills - It's a Part of Life

We see the world in color, why not study using color? 

Funny Sight Words Conversation!

As I was working with a student on Sight Words, he said, "Hey, there's no I in "Why" and no air in "Where"! What's up with that?

Can Children Play and Learn At the Same Time?

I was with a little four year old yesterday introducing a lesson that involved roles and responsibilities. I try the best that I possibly can to not talk so much that the children rely too much on the words that I speak in order to learn the concepts that are being presented to him. So I do what I love to do best: I PLAY!

For some reason, he liked the activity so much that every time we needed to transition to other tasks, he would ask if we could revisit our original lesson. This happened again - and again - and again. So I made eye contact and asked him, "Does your school have toys like this in your classroom?" His response was, "No, not really.". I then asked - "Have you been on a field trip at your school?". That response was the same as the first, "No, other than petting an animal - I don't know what a field trip is.." That's when it all came together - this child is not playing enough in school.

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, it is very important that children play at the very early states of life because it contributes to the "cognitive, physical, social, and emotional well-being of children and youth". Some individuals have even gone so far as to say that it is a fundamental right that all children have. If this is the case, then why are less and less children playing during these incremental periods of life?

Given the fact that the post-modern family is pressured to perform and engages in a very hurried lifestyle, the necessity of playing many not take precedence in the family schedule. The transition from playing that helps children learn social rules and mores to time spent on structured academics has taken its toll as children have grown less adept of handling behaviors that they are unfamiliar with. Play, for the sake of understanding as we know it, has gone away.

Going back to the little client in my story, it makes me sad that despite the thousands of dollars that his parents spend on his education, he is not playing as much as I think he should. It shows when he goes home and is unregulated because his mind and creativity was unable to be set free, and it makes me extremely upset. As an educator, there are always opportunities to restructure activities so that children are playing. From teaching them the parts of your body to solving the most simple of calculus problems - play should never go away.