Every week I encounter at least one parent who brags about how intelligent their child is. I know what this sounds like because my mom had bragged about each and every one of her five children to anyone who was not hard of hearing. She would tell complete strangers about all of us. Stories of my oldest brother - "The Businessman", myself, "Miss Resourceful", my younger brother, "The Righteous Man", my little sister, "Social Smartie" and my youngest brother, "The Fact Checker" would travel through the sidewalks of my hometown. Nobody brags more professionally than my mother, or at least that's what I thought.
When my mom (or anyone else in my family) would brag - we would always wait until there was some type of tangible accomplishment received that was worthy of the "bragging". For me, it was rows and rows of certificates, letters of commendation, and a bastion of statues that were won for a "job well done". At a young age, I learned to never bragged about what I could do because bragging was looked down upon in the eyes of my father. It was compulsory for us to always do our best - which inevitably meant the best grade possible. Like many students in my generation - I had a great deal to be proud of. I was unusually quick when it came to matters that were difficult for other students and remained quiet in the classroom. I didn't need to prove to everyone in the class that I knew the answer by raising my hand - I just showed it off to my parents at the end of the grading period. As a result, my teachers never - ever had anything negative to say about me. Even my high school principal knew me by name and took me out to lunch because of the type of "status" I had in my community.
What I am noticing now is that students do not have the same motivation to succeed, on their own. Instead of parents showing me what their child has accomplished, they instead show me what their IQ is (which really doesn't tell me much). As an educator, an IQ is an indication of what an individual can accomplish, if that is what they want to do. There are many individuals who have been classified as "gifted" but sometimes parents have been "enabling" them to rest on their laurels and allow them to not accomplish what they could accomplish. Trying to complete an essay on your own or a set of math problems without the assistance of mom or dad can never hurt. When students are young, they should view homework as a time that they can "problem solve" and learn "self-reliance". It should not be a time where they fight with their mom and dad to tell the teacher that they had other, more trivial things to do.
My opinion is if your child is intelligent - please encourage them to prove themselves in each and every task that they encounter. They will feel more accomplished as a result.
When my mom (or anyone else in my family) would brag - we would always wait until there was some type of tangible accomplishment received that was worthy of the "bragging". For me, it was rows and rows of certificates, letters of commendation, and a bastion of statues that were won for a "job well done". At a young age, I learned to never bragged about what I could do because bragging was looked down upon in the eyes of my father. It was compulsory for us to always do our best - which inevitably meant the best grade possible. Like many students in my generation - I had a great deal to be proud of. I was unusually quick when it came to matters that were difficult for other students and remained quiet in the classroom. I didn't need to prove to everyone in the class that I knew the answer by raising my hand - I just showed it off to my parents at the end of the grading period. As a result, my teachers never - ever had anything negative to say about me. Even my high school principal knew me by name and took me out to lunch because of the type of "status" I had in my community.
What I am noticing now is that students do not have the same motivation to succeed, on their own. Instead of parents showing me what their child has accomplished, they instead show me what their IQ is (which really doesn't tell me much). As an educator, an IQ is an indication of what an individual can accomplish, if that is what they want to do. There are many individuals who have been classified as "gifted" but sometimes parents have been "enabling" them to rest on their laurels and allow them to not accomplish what they could accomplish. Trying to complete an essay on your own or a set of math problems without the assistance of mom or dad can never hurt. When students are young, they should view homework as a time that they can "problem solve" and learn "self-reliance". It should not be a time where they fight with their mom and dad to tell the teacher that they had other, more trivial things to do.
My opinion is if your child is intelligent - please encourage them to prove themselves in each and every task that they encounter. They will feel more accomplished as a result.
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