Why I've Lost My Patience When It Comes To..

It was a difficult conversation that I had with my husband. After years of research and hours spent writing papers and citing case studies, I told him those few words that made him screech, "Oh no".

The conversation went something like this, "You know how I work at the school for 180 days? I hate to say this out loud, but I'm really only happy for about ten of those days..." He looked at me with utter contempt as though I've been living this duplicitous life telling people that I love children but I didn't want to be in the classroom.

"What, are you out of your mind? How can you only be happy for 10 of those days?"

It was then that I told him about the logistical make up of the school year. The kids come in from a long (very long) summer break and so you remediate them for a few days - actually weeks. Just when they think that you are being nice to them, they start taking tests for which most of them are sure not to do well. Every day you help prepare them for these tests and dance around the fact that sometimes these tests do not correlate to the skills that they will need later on in life. Time management, social skills, responsibility, motivation,  - all the different factors that help determine one's success is expected but not explained. I had a major problem with that.. and most of all with what matters the most.

Feedback. Outside of taking tests, there are very few opportunities for educators to know that we did a job well done. As an overachiever myself, I like to know who understood the amazing lesson that I had delivered on solving two step equations, but "pop quizzes" seemed to be so out of style. Where was the barometer of success and continuous improvement that you need to give to people so that they know what they can work on. It seemed to not occur in the classroom until I found my calling.....

Every opportunity I had after school to work with a student who had suffered from a set back such as a reading delay or an executive functioning delay - I took on. Many clients that I work with had come to me after seeing "Dr. Whoever" who would recommend the person who provided them with financial incentives. As I had started doing my own research I discovered (and was disappointed) at how misleading other professionals had been in providing services. Coming from a family whose reputation was a higher priority than riches, I never wanted to engage in anything that would compromise my value system. Sometimes I would look at reports or journals of what other professionals have (or have not done) and would feel utter bitterness for people who like to take advantage of situations. I'm not skeptical that certain systems do or do not work, I'm skeptical at business practices that spell out "Unethical" in my book.

When someone comes to me, I'm happy to say that after countless hours studying and applying psychology and working with individuals one on one to modify behavior, it takes way more than a ten day class to incorporate changes to one's brain. There is a science behind and a reason surrounding everything that I do and one thing that my clients hear me saying time and time again is, "I don't want to waste time.. especially yours..." I am a very, very impatient person who likes to get things done and it's been great working with the parents who have learned to trust my process. It has always served them well.. 

Can I Get A Side Of Learning With My School Choice?

I'm not trying to be facetious... Well, maybe I am. Here's my beef today. What is it with expecting that teachers teach at schools?

I'm a teacher (even though I am not in a classroom) and the goal of a teacher, or maybe let's be a little more sensible, the responsibility of a teacher is to provide education for students. Easy enough, you provide education for a student however, how can you measure how well they perform in this task?

Let's say that you enroll your child in an educational environment where the primary goal is their independence and a certain freedom within limits. I like the way that all of this sounds until I through in some other words like, objectives, goals, expectations. It's really easy to put children in an environment where they play all day, if your dream is to have a class full of children who will grow up to be "players". If your goal is to have your children learn how to use those "independent skills" so that they can read and write... what should you do?

You should either place them in a different school that emphasizes this skill set or provide them with an environment that does so. When I was five years old, my parents bought a bike for me. It stood in the garage until I worked up the courage to teach myself how to ride the bike. (Yes, I did. I'm quite proud of this feat and I think that my parents always knew how independent and resilient child #3 was in comparison to #1,2,4-6).. For some reason, riding a bike made sense to me. Mom and dad provided me, "the child" with the proper environment and support to learn how to ride a bike and hopefully, I will learn that given skill. They supported me in my quench for knowledge (since independent learning was rampant in my family) so when I wanted to learn, I would retreat to the libraries with my friends. My older brother on the other hand, not so much. His interests dealt more with social activities rather than intellectual ones and so I had to assist him with college level courses when I was still in middle school. (There was even a time that I wanted to go in and take his tests in math, science and english until I realized that he would be kicked out of university for that. He liked the idea of getting grades for not doing any work. I liked the idea of learning things  beyond what was expected. Nothing has changed in the last .....ty years..)

So when a school does not provide you with the tools that your child needs to succeed, you should act swiftly and with patience. Because in the grand scheme of things, this problem (unlike that of my older brother) will not solve itself.