Friday, May 18, 2012

How Does Your Occupation Influences Your Parenting Style?

As many of you know, what you do outside of your home has a direct or indirect impact on what you do inside your home.

Take for example a family whose head of household (the father) was a graduate of West Point. If your father was trained to follow structure, order, and a code of conduct that has been existence for a few decades, one can expect that their children will follow in the same suit. In one of the families that I have worked with - I'm still thinking that the father (and mother) had invisible earpieces and night vision glasses that help keep track of their family of ten...

Another example that I have is of an entrepreneur. Many entrepreneurs are engaged in a multitude of tasks and can determine the value (or lack of value) of a particular project. If your mother is an entrepreneur and  has a predisposition to looking at the costs and benefits of a particular project or employee, do not be surprised if she takes away your allowance for a month because your report card was not where it should be. My mother - the entrepreneur that she is, would cut out programs and hobbies that she knew we had no "talent for". My oldest brother had electric guitar lessons canceled after a month when she realized that he was...tone deaf.

Lastly, if your parent(s) are constantly switching from plan A to plan D in the course of one hour - your life is destined for a whirlwind of change as well. When encountering a high performing physician in Atlanta, it was no surprise that this individual could out multi-task even the best of us. In reviewing the status and progress of her child's education, it was definitely a given that you had to make your point - in 15 minutes or less. Her children are soon to follow in those same footsteps as they begin and end tasks within 15 minutes.

The views of this blog post are strictly the opinion of the writer and are intended for comedic purposes/relief.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

"Whose handwriting was that?"

I can't believe it sometimes (and neither can my pint size students). They work so extremely hard - and have made such incredible gains in what they have accomplished that there are times when they are in complete denial over what they had done just  a few months prior.

One of these most recent occurrences happened with a student whose mother stated that "he needs help with his handwriting.." We started him in a research based program over five months ago and each week - focused on one skill (and a few letters at a time) that would help him with not only his penmanship  - but with his confidence. We even had a  very adult conversation about penmanship where I told him that even though he does not think it now - it is important to have good penmanship. He asked me, "Well, what do you mean? Why do I need to have good penmanship?". I told him that penmanship was like spelling - "you take it for granted unless you see someone that it really bad at it.." After that quick conversation, it was if his penmanship took a life of its' own.

Many weeks went by where he would practice- and practice different strokes until he became more cognizant of what good penmanship was like. Just a few weeks ago, he even made a comment that the class was taking a crash course in penmanship and even compared his own letters with that of his teachers. Normally I expect this critical nature out of the middle school and high school students that I groom for success - but I don't mind having them start just a few years ahead of schedule.

As we were wrapping up a working session, I looked into my binder to look for a few samples of what his writing looked like before. I try not to look at these artifacts as it might hinder my perception of how far along a student has come. Before I showed the student the "drafts" I grinned aimlessly knowing that he would not be able to recognize "himself". I turned to the left and said, "Look at this. What do you make of this person's writing?". He was rather apathetic when he reviewed his own writing and said, "Whoa - this person has no attention to detail - look at the horrible lines and lack of spacing that he has from letter to letter. I can't believe that this student wasn't able to write his own name."

When he was done talking, I asked if he knew whose writing that was. He said to me, "How should I know - his name isn't even on the piece of paper. His handwriting is so sloppy." I laughed and said, "Stop insulting yourself - this was you five months ago!"


Sunday, May 13, 2012

"The best value is the one - that gives you the results that you are looking for..."

Whenever I am in my car - I always listen to "intelligent radio" or "smart programming" from my iTunes library. I listen in on what the current trends are in the world - either socially, technologically, or intellectually.

One day - I was listening to a business consultant talk moderate a discussion on prices in the market for a particular product/service. It seems pretty evident that to many of us - the most expensive price should always be the best price. That is entirely not the case 100% of the time.

A long time ago - a person very, very close to my family had consulted with an attorney over a pretty difficult situation. This attorney was the best in his class and was revered by everyone in the industry. His consultation fee was above what any person in my family could ever imagine since many of them are white collar professionals who draw a respectable salary each and every month. When the attorney was finished with the case, the family member went to the bank and moved the money that they had saved for the last ten years to pay him for his services. His response in helping her win his case was, "this is the last case that I will argue before I retire - I am happy to do this for free."

Many parents that I talk to are good parents - they look to do the very best for their children and sometimes put themselves in awkward financial situations in hopes that their child will benefit from the programs/services that they have endured for weeks/months. The sad thing is - not every program that is available to parents has a viable outcome and as a result, the parents end up with the same issues that they had prior to receiving any type of remediation. It is a great waste of time/money/ and energy to involve your student that may hinder their educational and social development during a time that is so important.

Whenever you are looking at a specific program to help your child - make sure that you have done the research needed to support the investment. When it comes to education - there is no simple solution in helping remedy any one problem that a student has. The key to helping your child is to focus on long-term progress - not a promise that all of the problems that your child once had will all go away in the matter of weeks. As with most things in life - long term changes occur incrementally, and not overnight.


Saturday, May 5, 2012

Why - is education so important?

As I grow older, I have learned to listen to what individuals and groups have to say about education. I have also observed how the media has portrayed the  United States in failing to prepare this new generation for their future. This blog is not meant to mark my opinion on what the current party line on education is;  this blog is meant to deliver my own personal opinion on education.

When I was a young girl, I associated a "good education" with a "good future". My grandfather, a former United Nations representative and small town boy -  grew up to be a distinguished attorney and professor. This very fact made it very difficult to  fight the fact that education was a primary focus in our family.

For many years, I worked until the daylight hours to learn everything that I could about subjects that mattered not only in school, but outside of school. I was the type of student that at 13 years old, could assess a situation and discuss a solution not only with my parents, but with other adults that were around me. Education for me was not confined to the four walls that surrounded the brick building where I attended school. Education was embedded in the different social activities that I was involved in - as well as the experiences that I have been personally been privileged to have that give me a better insight on what the world is about - and more importantly - what people are about. My mother has always taught me how to be a good and conscientious citizen, but it is through the education of my own life that has taught me to be tough, uncompromising, and resilient in any situation.

Sometimes when I see young children struggle in school because of something that they had absolutely no  control over - it saddens me. I know that when I was young - there was nothing more enjoyable than to watch my teacher's face light up as she taught us a lesson on fractions as if it were the next big toy at Toys -R-Us. I personally remember a situation when I was in third grade where I knew - no matter what I did, I would not be able to master the art of subtraction. There were several days where the teacher would hand back the assignment that was filled with a sea of red noting that "you need to improve in this concept". My true disposition is to not ask for help, but to figure it out. I watched the class with a different perspective one day and noticed that in one of her attempts to show us subtraction - she showed us how to check if the answer was correct. I was immediately saved by the end of this class and realized that at that point in time, there was always a different path to reach the same destination.

In looking at what is happening with student's today, I hope that student's understand that regardless of what happens in their schooling, there will be ample opportunities for them to observe and hold in high regard the experiences that they have to learn from. Education is not a building, but a collection of experiences and lessons from which to help pave a path for your future. If I did not struggle in that particular math lesson that day, I would not have realized my own potential. Sometimes, allowing your child to see what is wrong will help them make things right in the years to come. 

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

How Learning Ridge Helps Parents Sleep At Night

It all started with one follow up question that I wanted to ask a high school student that I have worked with for over three years. My anxiety was overwhelming when I had thought of that request that his father had asked of me several years prior.

"Can you teach my son some study skills?" I thought that was a very interesting question considering that his son was a Straight A student. I couldn't imagine teaching him anything that he did not already have in his repertoire of skills and habits that led him to that point. As a good provider - I humbly agreed and said that I will do my best to help him think more independently in terms of his study habits.

A few days ago, I approached the son and asked him why his father had made such a confusing request. "Oh, that whole thing about study skills?" he said with a sheepish look on his face. "It wasn't so much about me not studying, it was the fact that my dad would be up late at night and I had to study with him."

I was unaware that this father was up until the wee hours to work with his son when he said, "Well, now it is the complete opposite. My father goes to bed early and I think that he is just so lonely because he doesn't study with me anymore."

Okay, if you are a parent and reading this - I hope that you can understand that this entire conversation really tugs at my heart. Some of the best experiences that parents have is feeling empowered when they are able to help their children - and it is the best of parents that sacrifice blood, sweat, tears (and also - sleep) to help their young ones in school. But when they don't need you anymore, I think that is when you've realized that they are all grown up.

Yes, it's bittersweet - I help many of these young students not only with their homework but also help their parents sleep at night. With some of the report cards that come across my desk, I am very proud to know that I can be the reason why!