As a member in the Atlanta community - I have noticed a group of parents that always climb to the top - with their children, as a way to handle the trials and tribulations of family life. These parents are the ones that normally have the same set of problems as their neighbors or coworkers or subordinates - and despite the challenges of raising a family, can manage problems as it was a daily commuter flight from Atlanta to New York.
These parents I would like to call my "Responders". When presented with information that may be troubling - such as "Your child is not keeping up in reading", "Your child was caught mouthing off to the After School Program Director", "Your child misbehaved during recess" - these parents reflect upon the situation and quickly, without losing integrity, (or "face" as it would be called in Asian culture) apologize for the act of transgression and immediately find a way to remedy the situation.
I am always proud of the way that these "Responsive Parents" are able to get what they want in the various "Academic and Social" lines that their child has to stand in. One example was of a parent that tried, for about three weeks, to prepare her young child to enter into the premier private schools in Atlanta. If anyone knows the educational climate of the private schools here in Atlanta - it is not something for the feint of heart. It takes months - sometimes even years to set all the pieces in place for successful admission. In this particular case, both her and her daughter took the crash course. They were "seen" by a leading so-called "Educational Consultant" who after ten minutes said, "Sure your child will get in." Unfortunately, she did not get in that year.
This "Responsive" Mother did what most mothers did. She went through the "Five Stages of Grief":
1. Denial - It must have been a mistake, my daughter is extremely bright
2. Anger - How could they not admit my child! There is something wrong with the school
3. Bargaining - If I give the school money - they are sure to accept my child next year
4. Depression - Let's give up on this idea. We will just move closer to where my in-laws live
5. Acceptance - It's okay. We will have to come up with a different plan for next year.**
** This is where I came in. We looked at everything that the family did to prepare for the process - and came up with a different game plan. This included conversations/language/activities that would increase the likelihood of success - no matter what the situation was. The mother spoke to the different directors at the school and did nothing but listen to what their feedback was - and not what they needed to do to change admissions policies. It was no longer a case of "Oh woe is me - my child was rejected" but rather, "What are the necessary steps to ensure that this never happens again?" It is great to say that this young child was accepted to the top four tiered schools in Atlanta - and as a family - has reached monumental success in the community because of they way that they "respond" to situations - and not react.
These parents I would like to call my "Responders". When presented with information that may be troubling - such as "Your child is not keeping up in reading", "Your child was caught mouthing off to the After School Program Director", "Your child misbehaved during recess" - these parents reflect upon the situation and quickly, without losing integrity, (or "face" as it would be called in Asian culture) apologize for the act of transgression and immediately find a way to remedy the situation.
I am always proud of the way that these "Responsive Parents" are able to get what they want in the various "Academic and Social" lines that their child has to stand in. One example was of a parent that tried, for about three weeks, to prepare her young child to enter into the premier private schools in Atlanta. If anyone knows the educational climate of the private schools here in Atlanta - it is not something for the feint of heart. It takes months - sometimes even years to set all the pieces in place for successful admission. In this particular case, both her and her daughter took the crash course. They were "seen" by a leading so-called "Educational Consultant" who after ten minutes said, "Sure your child will get in." Unfortunately, she did not get in that year.
This "Responsive" Mother did what most mothers did. She went through the "Five Stages of Grief":
1. Denial - It must have been a mistake, my daughter is extremely bright
2. Anger - How could they not admit my child! There is something wrong with the school
3. Bargaining - If I give the school money - they are sure to accept my child next year
4. Depression - Let's give up on this idea. We will just move closer to where my in-laws live
5. Acceptance - It's okay. We will have to come up with a different plan for next year.**
** This is where I came in. We looked at everything that the family did to prepare for the process - and came up with a different game plan. This included conversations/language/activities that would increase the likelihood of success - no matter what the situation was. The mother spoke to the different directors at the school and did nothing but listen to what their feedback was - and not what they needed to do to change admissions policies. It was no longer a case of "Oh woe is me - my child was rejected" but rather, "What are the necessary steps to ensure that this never happens again?" It is great to say that this young child was accepted to the top four tiered schools in Atlanta - and as a family - has reached monumental success in the community because of they way that they "respond" to situations - and not react.
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