Growing up in a big family, it's ironic that I spent the majority of my time alone. I was the middle child lodged between my older brother and my younger brother, seven years older and younger respectively. It was hard for me to relate to their "play styles" and even more difficult for me to compete with them. At the end of the day, I was left to observe the world and understand things without an explanation.
Late this week I watched a movie pertaining to a fictional depiction of the Spelling Bee. As my husband briefly went over the synopsis with me, I whispered to him that I was the runner up for the Spelling Bee when I was in 6th grade. My husband then asked me, "who helped you, your mom, dad, brother?". I laughed out loud and said, "What? Nobody helped me with that! Everything that I had learned up to that point was accomplished by me."
Then we watched the entire movie from start to finish. If I had told my younger self what I had seen in that movie, I think my younger self would have the same look of disdain that I had that evening. I had to ask, "Why do you need to study or even be coached to do something like that?" or "That's cheating!" would be my response. Everything that we had worked for when I was in school was through our own "blood, sweat and tears". We always did things independently and the only assistance that we would give ourselves would be peer assistance.
The reason why I mention this is that I've noticed that some parents push their kids to do things that they may not want to do. Sometimes it's to be the best at a sport that they hate or to be first chair in an instrument that they may not even like. It bothers me to no end to see children being busy for the sake of being busy. There is no purpose for what they are involved in and it seems that the busier the children are, the smarter that they are perceived to be.
When I spoke to a parent early last week, she asked me if I thought it would be a good idea for her daughter to spend a few hours a week learning how to use an abacus. A monkey can use an abacus - if you want your daughter to imitate a monkey I guess that would be a good idea but I personally have my own opinion about what a child should learn. The smartest of my clients use calculators, I am trying hard to find a reason why your child would need to learn how to calculate things rather quickly. If you are going for a world record, or if there is a scholarship in school for some abstract skill - then go for it. (I was a Business Scholar at the age of 16, my two brothers and my niece were on Music Scholarships, and my grandfather was multilingual (four languages by the age of 21). The hardest part of being a parent is learning how and what to prioritize - focusing on quality versus quality and acknowledging the strengths and the weaknesses of your children.
My father knew best. At 19, I was discovered by a talent scout that wanted me to be signed on by an agency to become an actress. I was motivated at the time to embark on this career. I came home to tell my father and without blinking his eyes he said, "This will be a bust. Did you forget that you have stage fright?" I was definitely blind-sighted by the statement and went on to audition and realized that when there was a room full of people I would begin to freeze. Dad knew what I was great in (helping people in private) and knew what I should stay away from.
If you are a parent, learn more about your child and what your shared goals are before you commit them to anything. It's important for you to understand and respect them as your children and they will in turn respect you.
Late this week I watched a movie pertaining to a fictional depiction of the Spelling Bee. As my husband briefly went over the synopsis with me, I whispered to him that I was the runner up for the Spelling Bee when I was in 6th grade. My husband then asked me, "who helped you, your mom, dad, brother?". I laughed out loud and said, "What? Nobody helped me with that! Everything that I had learned up to that point was accomplished by me."
Then we watched the entire movie from start to finish. If I had told my younger self what I had seen in that movie, I think my younger self would have the same look of disdain that I had that evening. I had to ask, "Why do you need to study or even be coached to do something like that?" or "That's cheating!" would be my response. Everything that we had worked for when I was in school was through our own "blood, sweat and tears". We always did things independently and the only assistance that we would give ourselves would be peer assistance.
The reason why I mention this is that I've noticed that some parents push their kids to do things that they may not want to do. Sometimes it's to be the best at a sport that they hate or to be first chair in an instrument that they may not even like. It bothers me to no end to see children being busy for the sake of being busy. There is no purpose for what they are involved in and it seems that the busier the children are, the smarter that they are perceived to be.
When I spoke to a parent early last week, she asked me if I thought it would be a good idea for her daughter to spend a few hours a week learning how to use an abacus. A monkey can use an abacus - if you want your daughter to imitate a monkey I guess that would be a good idea but I personally have my own opinion about what a child should learn. The smartest of my clients use calculators, I am trying hard to find a reason why your child would need to learn how to calculate things rather quickly. If you are going for a world record, or if there is a scholarship in school for some abstract skill - then go for it. (I was a Business Scholar at the age of 16, my two brothers and my niece were on Music Scholarships, and my grandfather was multilingual (four languages by the age of 21). The hardest part of being a parent is learning how and what to prioritize - focusing on quality versus quality and acknowledging the strengths and the weaknesses of your children.
My father knew best. At 19, I was discovered by a talent scout that wanted me to be signed on by an agency to become an actress. I was motivated at the time to embark on this career. I came home to tell my father and without blinking his eyes he said, "This will be a bust. Did you forget that you have stage fright?" I was definitely blind-sighted by the statement and went on to audition and realized that when there was a room full of people I would begin to freeze. Dad knew what I was great in (helping people in private) and knew what I should stay away from.
If you are a parent, learn more about your child and what your shared goals are before you commit them to anything. It's important for you to understand and respect them as your children and they will in turn respect you.
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