Monday, March 14, 2011

Parent Personalities and Behaviors Influencing Student Success...

As a provider of educational services, I have always wondered if there is a correlation between the personality of a parent and the success of a student. I ask this because of my exposure to some really dynamic personalities that my parents have and how that positively affects their student and conversely, their student's success at school. Here is what I have discovered:

5 SUCCESSFUL PARENT PERSONALITY TRAITS AND BEHAVIORS

1. Positive Influential Behaviors

When your child observes you, they will pick up on subtle clues that will tell them what your expectations are. It is very important to have clear and realistic expectations of what your child can (and cannot) accomplish. If you appear to be too lax or too hyperfixated on a certain aspect of their development, they may become confused by the messages that you are sending.

Behavior is something that can be modified - and make sure that your child is aware of what you know they can do. However, do not overdo it (or "under do" it). They may have anxiety over what you ask them to do later on in life.

2. "Consistent/Routine" Parents

A parental behavior that I admire  most is "consistency". Some parents keep schedules of what their student needs to do when they come home from school and what the tasks are for the week. Another parent  allows her student a certain amount of "free time" right when he comes home from school. It gives them a certain sense of freedom and their frustration levels go down when they know what is being expected of them.

Always set a plan in action for what your student needs to do and follow through on it. Try to not punish them if you are not giving your child your undivided attention. Chances are, they will reciprocate and give you their undivided attention when you are doing the same thing.

3. Proactive (Not Reactive) Parents

I have worked with many, many, many parents and this trait actually influences whether your student is able to work well in his environment or experience some sort of difficulty. Let's face it, there are times during your student's academic career where you will need to communicate with their teachers or administrators. It is very important to communicate your needs in a respectful, concise manner so that the school will be more than willing to work with you.

One of the greatest parents that I currently work with has an amazing manner in which she is able to express her ideas in an email. She asked the headmaster of the school to look into a certain policy that would not be great for her situation. As a result - the headmaster of the school was able to dismiss the policy for her and the student. I never thought that these things would happen - but then again, you can only attract sweetness with honey, not vinegar! Amazing!

I have also had another parent that I have worked with in the past that had such a great relationship with her child's teacher that she would send her emails of any homework or behavior issues that he had at school within the hour. What a wonderful notion as a parent to be updated on the progress of your child as it is happening.

As an experienced teacher, it is always a wonderful thing to know that parents are willing to listen to you and value your time and diligence in helping your child. Parents that acknowledge that seem to receive more of the attention than those who are more argumentative and combative. I mean, you can catch more bees with honey than vinegar, right?

4. Respectful Parents

This may seem like an idea that did not exist in some people's families - but there are some parents out there that respect their children. When their children speak, they listen; when their children say that something is too difficulty - they find solutions to help them; when their child needs to take a break from doing two hours of homework in kindergarten - they give them a big hug and say "play in the backyard until the sun comes down".

Parents need to respect their children for the individuals that they are. It is very important for your children to know that what they are saying is important and that you value them as a person - not a child. Make it a point to not just "hear" what your son or daughter is saying, but "listen" as well.

5. Being There For Your Child

In many of the families that I work with, there are different schedules that the families have. It is so important that there is (almost) always one parent that is there with the child at all times. From a child-rearing point of view, children need to be given the freedom to have structured time and free time, however knowing that your parents are there for you will help them develop into fully actualized individuals. Give your child some scheduled time (perhaps one hour a week) where you do nothing but talk and discuss what is going on in their life. This will create a more healthy upbringing for the child as they know that mom and dad always had a planned "date" where they spent time with you.

If you are in the Atlanta/Marietta/Kennesaw/Vinings/Sandy Springs/Buckhead area (Cobb County, Fulton County, Dekalb County, Cherokee County) and have any questions about the JATP, CRCT, SSAT, SAT, GED, Summer Tutoring, Orton-Gillingham, Singapore Math, Handwriting Without Tears, Writing Strategies, Brain Gym or any methodologies or instructional methods that may help your child succeed, please contact me at christine@learningridge.com or visit my website at http://www.learningridge.com//. If you need immediate assistance, you can call me at 404-964-8533.



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